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Yesterday I went to my gorgeous sister in law's (and latest member of our Lilypad team) baby shower and it occured to me that a baby shower is almost expected these days but only 8 years ago, when I was having my eldest daughter, no one really had a baby shower. It is amazing at how quickly traditions become adopted or fads are created and having now been to a few baby showers over the past few years, I thought it maybe good to share what happens and what is the etiquette for those that are expecting (or expecting to have one!).

Who should throw the baby shower?

This kind of depends on the pregnant mum, it is traditional for friends to throw the party and it is best to gauge how much control the expectant mum would like. I was delighted to have a surprise baby shower for my second daughter but I also know that there were friends who were not included, so for me I would have like a little control over the guest list (but maybe that is just the control freak in me). 

 

When should the baby shower be held?

The baby shower is usually thrown in the last trimester but this can sometime be dictated by travel arrangements of family or timing of the baby's due date. It is good to try and accomodate immediate family and close friends but ultimately you need to pick a date and stick to it, there will always be people that can't make it and you can't please everyone all of the time.

Who should be invited?

Whoever is important to the expectant mum (and how many the venue can cope with!) It is not necessary to invite every woman or friend on Facebook! It maybe worthwhile checking if any of the guests may have had fertility problems and recognize and respect how difficult this maybe for her to be confronted with other people's pregnancies. Don't be offended if she feels she can't be there.

What to expect at a baby shower?

Food, chats, games and laughing!

Be prepared to have to bring photos of yourself as a child and if the games we played at my sister in law's yesterday were anything to go by, it maybe worthwhile researching the names of songs with "baby" in them, as I didn't score particularly high in this game!

Should we buy gifts?

In America, where baby showers have been more common place for much longer, there are expectant mums that actually have a department store gift registry but in the UK, the gifts are usually more token and personal. The image below shows the gift I had made for my sister in law yesterday, showing her 20 week scan picture. I plan to have these on the Lilypad as her reaction was very emotional.

Is a Baby Shower okay for 2nd time mums?

When I was pregnant with my second daughter, it never crossed my mind that I would have a baby shower but if friends and family want to throw showers for you, why stop them? There was quite an age gap between my girls but if you want to forgo the gifts this time, just simply ask the friend who is throwing the party to indicate on the invitation that you want their presence not their presents.

So ultimately, when it comes to throwing a baby shower, whether it is for a friend or relative, there are very few hard-and-fast rules (aside from those that govern good manners — such as being gracious when you open a gift, whether you like it or not!), so just sit back and bask in being showered with love and affection during this very special time.