Usually the Lilypad blog is full of anecdotes, silly stories and probably far too much clothes and fashion discussion than any parenting / lifestyle blog "should" have but this week I am a little exhausted.
I am exhausted by asthma.
My toddler has asthma and on a daily basis I am questioning "am I doing the right thing?".
I have never really known anyone in my inner circle with asthma.
I was immune to the effect it can have on a family.
Anyone who has a child with asthma soon learns that symptoms come and go and can change as quickly as the weather. This week we have had a mixture of;
- coughing, especially at night
- times where she has has difficulty breathing
She has also complained of a tummy ache a few times and after doing even more reading, I have learnt that little ones may have a tight feeling in their chest and don't know how to describe it, so complain of tummy ache.
They are reluctant to diagnose young children with asthma (especially those under 2) as nearly one-third of very young children will have wheezing at some point. Over time, most of them will stop wheezing as their airways grow; however for others early wheezing can be a sign they will get asthma in later childhood or adult life.
So what do I do?
- I make sure she is taking her preventative medicines every day.
- Constantly look for triggers (usually keeping the cat off her bed) but the pollen has been a big factor this week.
- Regular handwashing to prevent spread of coughs and colds (reminding her big sister of this too!)
- I lie awake listening to her breathing. Is it too fast? Is she too hot?
- I lie awake wondering why.
Why does she have asthma?
Why can't I fix this?
I didn't smoke or drink or do anything that is reportedly "dangerous" to a child in the womb. I even stayed away from prawn sandwiches! I could control what went into my own body but I can't control what is happening to hers.
I am frustrated and exhausted.
My child has asthma and with every attack I tell her it will be okay. Mummy and Daddy are here and she sleeps, eventually she sleeps.
We are not the first family to have emergency trips to the hospital and we won't be the last but my heart breaks just a tiny bit every time I hear her say "Mummy, I need my pump". She is our daughter, a toddler, a swimmer, a gymnast but she is also an asthmatic.
I needed to vent this evening and normal "fluffy" service will resume soon (I promise).
If you enjoy hearing our family stories and toddler adventures, we would love you to vote for us in the MAD Blog Awards. It is kind of a big deal and it would mean that we know at least one or two people do read our little blog! There are some amazing bloggers out there (and I hear it is a pretty amazing party too) but a vote in the Pre-School Section would be very very welcome xx