My eldest daughter came home from school a week or so ago and casually dropped into conversation that the nurse had been in to see them and was talking about periods. Once I had got over the initial shock, I realised that she is 10 years old and I can ignore it as much as I like but she is growing up and I have to do my best to support her, nuture her and answer her questions as honestly as I can. So between us we came up with the top 10 things she wanted to know.

1. Will it hurt?

You might find you get a dull ache for the first day or so. It can be uncomfortable but it soon passes.

2. Will I get one every month?

Once your monthly cycle gets into a routine, you will get a period around every 28 days. In the first few months it is likely that they will be a little less regular but it will eventually even out and you are more aware of your body.

3. Does every girl get them?

Every girl that goes through puberty will get a period. You might find some girls "bragging" about it but in the end, it is something all women go through when their body is ready. Most girls get their first period between 11-14 years old, you could start your period anywhere from 8-17 years old.

4. What happens if my period comes when I am at school?

If your body is changing, it maybe good to keep some tampons or pantiliners discreetly in her bag in case you get your first period while you are not at home. You may even want to keep an extra pair of underwear in her book bag. This will be one of those tips you will appreciate when your period does arrive unexpectantly.

5. Can I still do P.E or swimming when I am on my period?

Yes, as long as you use a tampon, something like the Tampax Compak Pearl is good as they expand width-wise to eliminate the gaps that can cause leaks, and any embarresment. The packaging is pretty cool too! Tampons will also allow you to swim during your period, so nothing is out of bounds! If you are uncomfortable then you can get some simple pain relief, although I always think that a hot water bottle is the first port of call.

6. Will I get my period at the same time as my friends?

No, all girls are different and it is not a race to get yours first. Everyones bodies are different. Celebrate yours for today.

7. Do I have to have time off school?

Not unless you are in real discomfort should you need time off school (Sorry!!)

8. Will anyone else know I am on my period?

You may be a little tired and grumpy and possibly your skin might have an outbreak of spots but this is typical of most tweens and teens so unless you tell people, there is no reason for anyone else to know.

9. How long will it last?

A normal period should be between three and five days, sometimes as long as a week but you will get used to your own body as the months go on.

10. Will I have them forever?

The menopause, sometimes referred to as the "change of life", is the end of menstruation. This is where a woman's ovaries stop producing an egg every four weeks. She no longer has monthly periods and is unlikely to get pregnant. In the UK, 51 is the average age for a woman to reach the menopause, although some women can experience the menopause in their 30s or 40s.

Things to Look Out For

Mums can answer most questions but you should seek medical advice if you:

• Are 16 and haven’t gotten your period yet.
• Get periods that last longer than seven days for three cycles.
• Experience a dramatic change from your typical periods.
• Miss your period for six months straight.
• Are passing large clots.
• Are soaking through your tampon or pad hourly for two or more hours.
• Are bleeding between menstrual periods.
• Have pelvic pain for longer than a day that seems unrelated to your period.

There is a lot of information on the internet, so sometimes you can feel a little frazzled by it all but we are pleased to be able to share some great content from Dr Radha Modgil for you: 

Mum’s Period Questions Answered by Dr Radha Modgil

 

“Puberty can be a scary time for your daughter, but it can be a stressful time for mum as well! You’re watching your little girl grow up and you want to be there to support and guide her and most importantly to answer any of her questions. To help you feel empowered with all the information you need to reassure her at this confusing time, I’ve pulled together some answers to some of those big questions that you and your daughter might have.”

 

 

1.       When is the best time to talk to my daughter about periods?

It’s a great idea to split up this conversation into little chunks over time rather than having ‘the big chat,’ which can make some girls feel uncomfortable. Periods tend to start about 2.5 years after breast development begins and 1 year after their growth spurt. These signs can be useful in knowing roughly when you should start to think about talking to them about periods so that they are ready. This time will vary from person to person. The average age to start your period is 12 years old, but it can vary from 8 to 16 years old, so the best advice is to know your daughter as an individual. The really important thing is to let her know you are there and easy to chat to, without judgement or worry.

 

2.       How would you recommend I bring up the topic with her? Do you have any tips for parents who feel embarrassed about broaching the topic with their daughters?

It is understandable that some parents feel worried about how or when to talk to their daughter. Remember why you want to talk to her. You want her to be prepared so she isn’t confused or scared, and doesn’t feel alone. This should help you in getting over any worries or embarrassment. If you feel embarrassed she is likely to feel the same, or worse! Get yourself some information that you can share with her to help the chat, you could use this Puberty Education Booklet for Girls [link], or a website. Pick a quiet time when you are alone and approach the subject sensitively. Tell her that you want to chat, even though she might feel embarrassed because you care and you want to empower her.  Offer the option of talking things through or give her the choice of reading the leaflet in private if she feels more comfortable - and respect her decision. Put the offer to her of you buying her some pads to have in case she needs them. Leave it with her and check back with her in a few days. The most important thing is to let her know that you are always there for her to chat to no matter what it is about.

 

3.       What will happen when she gets her first period?

She may get breast tenderness just before she starts her period and get slightly more emotional. When her period starts she may feel some lower tummy cramps. Emotionally she may feel confused, shocked and vulnerable. It is really important to support her at this time. Give her emotional support and explain what these changes are and that they’re something to celebrate and not be afraid of.  Make sure you give her some pads and help her with how to use them, and talk about tampons as another option for the future. Make a date to take her out and do something nice together.

 

 

4.       How long will it take before her periods become regular?

This can vary but normally periods do become regular about a year or just over a year after she starts. If they continue to be irregular after this, or are very irregular, then it is a good idea to see her GP.

 

5.       Will she experience PMS when she starts her period?

She may do. It is difficult to know who will be affected by the changes in hormone levels, by how much or when. It is great to let her know about possible PMS symptoms and that she can help herself by exercising, eating well, sleeping well and dealing with stress in a healthy way. Let her know you understand and that if she ever feels emotional, sad or anxious you are there for her. If the symptoms become too much, then you can go with her to see the GP, who can help.

 

There are some other great online resources, try this one here which is specifically written for Teen and Pre-Teen girls https://issuu.com/tampax/docs/q_a_teens_questions 

 

 

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Usually the Lilypad blog is full of anecdotes, silly stories and probably far too much clothes and fashion discussion than any parenting / lifestyle blog "should" have but this week I am a little exhausted.

I am exhausted by asthma.

My toddler has asthma and on a daily basis I am questioning "am I doing the right thing?".

I have never really known anyone in my inner circle with asthma.

I was immune to the effect it can have on a family. 

Anyone who has a child with asthma soon learns that symptoms come and go and can change as quickly as the weather. This week we have had a mixture of;

• wheezing
• coughing, especially at night
• times where she has has difficulty breathing

She has also complained of a tummy ache a few times and after doing even more reading, I have learnt that little ones may have a tight feeling in their chest and don't know how to describe it, so complain of tummy ache.

They are reluctant to diagnose young children with asthma (especially those under 2) as nearly one-third of very young children will have wheezing at some point. Over time, most of them will stop wheezing as their airways grow; however for others early wheezing can be a sign they will get asthma in later childhood or adult life.

So what do I do?

• I make sure she is taking her preventative medicines every day.
• Constantly look for triggers (usually keeping the cat off her bed) but the pollen has been a big factor this week.
• Regular handwashing to prevent spread of coughs and colds (reminding her big sister of this too!)
• I lie awake listening to her breathing. Is it too fast? Is she too hot? 
• I lie awake wondering why.

Why does she have asthma?

Why can't I fix this?

I didn't smoke or drink or do anything that is reportedly "dangerous" to a child in the womb. I even stayed away from prawn sandwiches! I could control what went into my own body but I can't control what is happening to hers.

I am frustrated and exhausted.

My child has asthma and with every attack I tell her it will be okay. Mummy and Daddy are here and she sleeps, eventually she sleeps.

We are not the first family to have emergency trips to the hospital and we won't be the last but my heart breaks just a tiny bit every time I hear her say "Mummy, I need my pump". She is our daughter, a toddler, a swimmer, a gymnast but she is also an asthmatic. 

I needed to vent this evening and normal "fluffy" service will resume soon (I promise).

If you enjoy hearing our family stories and toddler adventures, we would love you to vote for us in the MAD Blog Awards. It is kind of a big deal and it would mean that we know at least one or two people do read our little blog! There are some amazing bloggers out there (and I hear it is a pretty amazing party too) but a vote in the Pre-School Section would be very very welcome xx

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Anyone that knows me knows that I love a party and having two girls means even more reasons to celebrate throughout the year but what age is too old to to have a birthday party?

Well that got me thinking about how different parties can be at every age and having lived through a few of them, here is our birthday party guide for all ages ....

Age 1 - Let's be honest, the first birthday party is really a celebration of the anniversary of you becoming a parent. A one-year-old may enjoy being the centre of attention but she will have no idea of what a party is. We chose to have the girls first birthday's in a function room with sensory toys for the little ones (and a bar for the adults!). Everyone happy!

Age 2 - Despite their reputation, two-year-olds aren't always terrible, so a party for this age group can be great fun. A toddler has no expectations, so there is little point wasting time and money on  an extravagant affair. A teddy bears picnic in the park ( or the back garden ) is ideal for this age.

Age 3 - It's not until they hit three that children begin to really understand parties. Children very often go to nursery or playgroups at this age, so have a small circle of friends that they play with, so soft play is frequently the destination of choice at age 3 as it gives them chance to run around without restrictions (but don't forget the cakes)

Age 4 - For some reason, parties seem to step up a notch by the time children are four. Many children have established friendship groups at nursery and there appears to be a little competition in the quality of the party, so an entertainer is a good idea. It is at this age that children also seem to become acutely aware that they get a party bag at the end of a party. This is usually filled with all sorts of goodies from balloons, sweets and small plastic toys!

Age 5 - Having started school, your little ones social circle will have expanded again and for the first couple of years at school you may find a constant merry go round of children's parties so trying to find something "different" can be a challenge. A farm party is always good for this age as they love discovering, feeding the animals (not forgetting getting muddy) and you can have larger numbers here too, without significant expense.

Age 6 - A disco party is a favourite at this age. Children will especially enjoy this if it's hosted in the early evening rather than the afternoon. Make sure you have plenty of space for dancing if you are not holding it in a village hall. Six is a great age for throwing a birthday party, as children can play without too much supervision and they love the idea of entertaining their friends.

Age 7, 8, 9 - Sleepovers and cinema trips are the usual party of choice as they go into Juniors and decide that a "disco" in a hall is not cool enough any more. 

Age 10 - I am now the proud owner of a 10 year old and despite saying (for years) that she was too old to have a birthday party, this year she chose to take a (large) group of friends on Skytrail, which is essentially an adventure playgroup suspended in the sky! Apparently they turn into adrenalin junkies when they reach double digits.

Age 13 - This is the age of hormones and teen angst. Whatever they want to do at this age will probably end in tears but you can try a pamper party (for the girls anyway).

Age 16 - Celebrating being 16 is the new 18. My god daughter is already planning her sweet sixteen party and she wants chocolate fountains and a limo. This seems to be an American thing that is now crossing the pond but thankfully they no longer want party bags at this age!

Age 18 - Most 18 year old's can't wait to have a "legal" drink in a pub and with a lot of function rooms being reluctant to hold 18th birthday parties for fear of serving those who are still underage, they usually decide to go into the nearest town for pubs and clubs with their official I.D.

Age 21 - My Nan would always sing, "You've got the key to the door, never been 21 before" and it is the age where you are seen as an adult. No more children's parties, no more party bags and very often now, you have the key to your own door. So maybe it is house party time?

And thereafter?

I still celebrate my birthday every year, whether it is drinks with friends, a BBQ at the house or a meal out. I *may* be 40 in a couple of years time and that is as good a reason as any for having a party in my book.

So what age is too old for a birthday party?

Never I say! You are never too old for a party in my book.

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Having two little monkeys, oops I mean children, in our house it is no secret that we love animals. The girls always want to go and feed the chickens or horses and the toddler seems to have found a strange recent obsession with the cows in the farmers field, so we have been talking recently about taking them to a safari park. We are therefore delighted to share this competition in associated with The Aspinall Foundation, one of the leading safari and animal conservation parks in the UK working in conjunction with Port Lympne and Howletts Wild Animal Parks.

They are running a great competition at the moment and are looking for children of all ages to tell them: “What is your favourite animal and why?” Some of their keepers have already got involved by telling us theirs:

The contest entry is really easy to enter: recording a short video (60 seconds or less), then, uploading the video to either the Port Lympne or Howletts Facebook page along with the hashtag #AnimalsRockComp.

After a family discussion, we decided that the big cats were our favourite (and I don't mean our crazy moggy) but the beautiful lion pride, as the man on the Lilypad very often refers to us as his pride. He *may* also say that a King only bows down to his Queen .... I am kind of hoping that means me!

The winners will be chosen by TV personality and animal lover Paul O' Grady and the prizes include:

·         The chance to be a Junior Ranger, or join the Keeper Academy along with four Gold Cards to both Howletts and Port Lympne animal parks 

·         A personal VIP Safari Experience for four at the Port Lympne Reserve

·         4 Passports to either Howletts or Port Lympne Reserve 

There are no age restrictions on the competition, so adults are welcome to try their luck as well as kids to be in with a chance to win. The end date is 31st May 2015 at 11:59pm. Entries after the closing date will not be accepted.

Good luck!

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