The Little Lilypad is a lifestyle blog mostly written by a mum to two beautiful, cheeky and entertaining daughters. It is sometimes written by the Man on the Pad or by one of our baby bloggers. Occasionally we accept guest posts too. There is frequently talk of shoes and clothing (we love fashion and savvy shopping), chocolate (who doesn't love chocolate) education and swimming (we love this too). It is hopefully helpful, sometimes funny and always honest.
We are constantly on the go, always moving from one thing to another. Trying to keep up with work, family, social, health, hobbies and more. This can often feel overwhelming, chaotic and stressful like you are doing so many things, but none of them well. That is why it is important to find the right work-life balance for you and your family.
Balance is all about feeling centred, it is about feeling that your heart and mind are not being pulled too hard in either direction. It’s about feeling in control of your life, grounded, calm, clear-headed, and motivated.
Balance is important to implement into your life, it creates harmony, peace and satisfaction. It helps us to be motivated as well as more attentive, productive and successful in what we do.
Take care of and nurture yourself.
Your health plays a large role in the quality of our life and work. We are more motivated and far more productive and healthy when we eat well, get enough sleep and do physical activity. Burning the candle at both ends catches up with us in the end, resulting in burn out.
Limit screen time and instead. work in an activity or a ritual each morning or evening that is just for you, may it be a cup of coffee in the morning before you start your day, 15 minutes of yoga before bed, a lunchtime work or an evening bath.
The space you come to relax and rejuvenate is vital in helping you to live a balanced life. When it’s disorganised, chaotic and not feeling very homely it’s hard, to feel at ease. Make your home a sanctuary, a place to come home and unwind. With the bedroom being the heart of the home when it comes to relaxation, to make sure you have all things comfort, The Dozy Owl has got you covered.
Know Your Prioritises
Balance is about knowing when to say no, it does not mean doing everything on your to-do list in one day. Look at what is important, what is necessary and what can be put off to later. Set your boundaries and manage expectations.
Writing a list of your goals is a great way to manage the balance in your life, you may be in the process of building a career, studying, starting a family or buying a house. Work out what stage of life you are at and try not to bite off more than you can chew. It is best to focus your energy on a few milestones at once, so that you do them well and can move onto the next.
Being organised and planning ahead is a great way to bring balance into your life. Whether it is daily, weekly or monthly, create a to-do list or a planner for upcoming appointments, exams, meetings, holidays and milestones. In doing this you’ll be able to see if you are allowing enough time for hobbies, family time, social life, work and relaxation.
Social media is an indispensable part of our everyday life (especially ours). So much so that it often takes the shape of an addictive habit of unnecessary scrolling. This leads to nothing but complete detachment from the needful. Social media needs to be social and interactive but not necessarily ALL of the time.
The following tips are some small practices to lessen if not eliminate a complete addiction or dependancy.
Learn to log out
The most important aspect of anything is self-control. In order to derive the best outcome out of any action, one must practice self-control This largely applies in case of social media usage too. One must learn to make use of this technological boon in limits. Out there is a world that is constantly evolving to increase our intake of social media content but in order to derive the bet out of it, one must know when to exit. This is exactly why there is a button to log out of the virtual world. This is the first way to mindfully use social media.
In many self-help books, the researchers have quoted one of their crucial findings under the tag of mind filtering. It is one’s own choice to take in things, opinions, judgments that are continuously fed to the commoners via social media. This is a crucial way of going on with the use of social media. In a world where every information good and bad is out in a virtual world, it is difficult to limit the usage of this. But like every question has an answer even this toxic habit of constant social media engagement has a solution. Just pause for a moment and think that are all the things that came on your feed too important to ponder about or not. Go for this mindful elimination of toxicity.
Have no-gadget hours
This is a crucial way of inculcating mindfulness in everyday life. As years have passed our daily lives have gotten more gadget based. This has untimely invited stress, anxiety, and other issues. Most importantly it has disrupted our natural mindfulness. In order to tackle such a situation, it is extremely important to have absolutely no-gadget hours. This is very helpful in being mindful for the major part of the day.
Make some time every day to unplug from everything. Do not talk, or do anything, just be silent. Keep quiet and spend time with yourself. Just observe the way the mind works, the energy flows, and the thoughts channelize themselves. This is a major step towards achieving mindfulness and focus. This is one of the most understated yet profound ways to align oneself with the positive vibrations and channelize one’s energy in that path. This is what determines one’s good mental health and a calm state of mind.
Unfollow the unnecessary
The most underused button in social media is perhaps the “unfollow’ button. But this wonder option is a magical way to cut off all the junk and unnecessary content from one’s media feed. This is what one must regularly do in order to eliminate the toxicity of social media. This is the key to eliminating all the cons that social media serves on a platter. Needless to say, this is a major stepping stone towards mindful usage of social media. So just like in real life, surround yourself with the necessary and needed things in social media as well.
So learn to use technology just as a tool. Humans have created this blissful thing towards a better-connected world, let it not become a bane to their very own existence here.
Ever felt like giving up on things you planned for months because nothing seems to work out or that you’re simply in no mood to do anything? It’s okay, we’ve all been there. If you feel this way and need motivation but can’t find any, this article is for you.
Lack of motivation can be because of multiple reasons, and every reason requires a distinct solution. This article focuses on all possible reasons to provide you an effective solution.
1. You’ve been doing things for far too long
It’s normal to feel demotivated if you have been doing some things from quite some time that it starts to bore you. You feel less interested and hence plan on dropping everything. You must remember, feeling demotivated is not a good reason to give up on your plans and dreams.
How to get motivated back
When things get boring or you can’t seem to think of anything productive, it’s time to take a break. Sometimes lack of motivation is a signal your mind gives that you need to take a pause. Breathe. Breathe, take rest until you feel you’re ready to get back again. There’s no bad day to take a vacation.
Vacations have been proved to be an effective way of not only refreshing your mind but to think things through. However, ensure that this pause does not turn into a full stop. Taking a break must not lead to quitting your plans entirely. Get back to them once you feel relaxed.
2. You don’t see results
Ever had that feeling when you worked like a robot but didn’t get the results you desired? You think you’ve tried enough, maybe harder than the rest but nothing good is happening, so maybe you’re not made for success and should give up.
Yes, good results can keep you motivated but that doesn’t mean, insufficient results don’t mean tables can’t be turned. You must not let results hinder you.
Everyone gets bad results but that is why dreams are not achieved in a day. It doesn’t only take hard work, but a calm mind as well to achieve goals.
How to get motivated
Sometimes all you have to do is be patient. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It works differently for everyone. Some have to wait for months before seeing results, some even years. Just wait and do not give up. There are great things waiting for you. Don’t just lose hope yet, they might knock anytime.
However, if it has been long, you might have to look again at your strategy. Just ask yourselves, are you doing things, right? If you’re uncertain, it’s always a great idea to get help.
Talk to analysts, your friends, family, or whosoever who has expertise in the field you’re in. Sometimes it takes someone else’s vision to find your faults.
3. Lack of motivation as a phase
At times, the lack of motivation is a phase that comes and goes like sea waves. It might be relieving as well as stress to tell you that it is inevitable.
The truth is you cannot always stay motivated. Motivation works like energy, there are days or even moments in the day when you feel lethargic, and other times, energetic.
To put it in another example, it is like your phone battery. When it gets discharged, you are required to charge it. The question remains, how do you charge it?
How to become motivated?
Keep yourself surrounded by reminders.
Sometimes all you need is a reminder to get back on track and not to give up. Sticking post-its on your closet, on the bed back, on walls is a perfect way to be reminded throughout the day. You can also keep motivational wallpapers on your phone. If you’re a social media addict, which we insist, you must not be. You can follow motivational pages or pages with subjects of your interest.
Be social, talk to random people or experts
Just as happiness comes in mysterious ways, motivation can knock your door similarly. When you talk to experts in the area of your interest, you’re motivated to become like them.
You share stories until you realize if they can, why can’t you. Besides, you don’t always need an expert if you’re not associated with any. Talk to your close friends or family members. If not them, even random strangers after all, sometimes even your close ones fail to understand or motivate you. In such a case, random strangers are at your rescue. Added perk: You’ll be forming contacts and making acquaintances.
4. You might have your interests elsewhere
We hate to break it to you, sometimes lack of motivation can also be because you’re forcing yourself into things you don’t like. You are draining yourself in the wrong place. This is when you need to figure out if that is what you like. Just listen to the voice inside you and you’d know.
How to feel motivated?
You need someone to tell you, you must follow your passion even if you think it’s too late. It’s never too late if you have years ahead of you. Apart from this, you need the courage to actually pursue your dreams even if it means defying notions and people. Allow us to say it, you’re the proprietor of your life. It is your decision to choose places you want to invest your time, money, and efforts in.
Here's for a fact, that life is not all rainbows and diamonds. You fail, you succeed, it’s a cycle. Don’t feel disheartened if things don’t go the way you want them to.
There’s still nothing that can stop you. Getting motivated is easy, but it’s harder to keep yourself from giving up. But do it, don’t give up just yet, because if you do, remember you lose out all the progress you’ve made.
You’re human, don’t crush yourself. You’re magical, there’s no stopping you. I would love to know your tips for getting things done when you feel stuck. Do drop them in the comments below.
Let’s admit this, though being a mum is out of this world’s experience, it hauls the house of responsibilities along with the ‘mum’ tag. Being a mum isn’t always easy and it’s so common to ignore ourselves while handling the family.
As a mum, we are always looking out for everyone else while sacrificing our own physical and mental health. This is the reason why the majority of mums suffer from mental burnout a few years down their parenthood.
Mum burnout may be common but we need to address this issue and find some solutions for the same. We may preach our kids to practice self-care but when it comes down to us, we totally forget this.
We fail to realize that as a human, we too need rest and breaks. And even though you aren’t doing any side hustle, mum-life is itself something quite more than a hustle.
Getting anxious and frustrated due to never-ending work may take a toll on your mental as well as physical health. When you’re not mentally and physically healthy, your kids too will suffer from a lack of your love and presence. It’s truly said that you cannot pour from an empty vessel which clearly states the importance of self-care.
We have this guilt inside whenever we do something for ourselves when we should be present for our kids and family. We always sacrifice our well-being for our children but little do we know that this practice will end up burning you down.
You need to understand that being a mum, it’s necessary to practice a proper self-care routine and that you’re not being selfish for putting yourself first.
You may have landed here on this page because you feel burnt-out and exhausted hence before stating the warning signs for mum burnt-out, I want you to take your self-care seriously.
Without any further due, let’s get into the topic for today.
Here are the five main reasons that you’re a mum who’s doing too much:
As we discussed, it’s super easy for mums to fall in the trap of doing more for their loved ones out of love and care. However, taking care of your mental health is equally important. These are the five warning signs for your mum’s burn-out.
1. You feel frustrated and annoyed, always
Ever experience feeling frustrated and annoyed due to no such reasons? We all had been there and it indeed is terrifying to feel this way. Our mind fails to understand words such as pleasant, happy, and joyful.
It also feels like we have been living this way from ages and that there’s no way out. This feeling of frustration makes us doubt everything happening in our life, also our past decisions.
You are always losing your temper, yelling at your kids, or having an unhealthy relation with your partner.
However, do we realize the reason behind feeling this?
Because my darling you as a mum are tired and you need to get some urgent rest, so get it now and bring back your mental peace!
2. You’re overwhelmed with the amount of never-ending work
You may feel it normal but feeling overwhelmed while you’re actually doing all the work isn’t common. You may have this feeling of running round the clock and yet not getting things done.
You aren’t even wasting your time but there’s so much more to do (in your list) that you’re facing this mum-life burnout phase. Your mind is exhausted with all the things you have on your plate and it isn’t ready to grab it all. In this case, you shall also feel some physical changes like trouble sleeping and getting exhausted for no such reason.
In such cases; you need to reframe your to-do list and try making it realistic. We aren’t any superhumans so stop treating yourself like one.
3. You don’t remember the last time you were relaxed
Ahh well, tell me about this!!
When was the last time you felt completely relaxed? When you weren’t bothered by the laundry lying, dishes left to be done, kid’s homework, or the next day’s meal plan. I know mama, the list is endless and in this never-ending list of chores, we always struggle to grab some moments of relaxation for ourselves.
You may be sleeping for 8 hours a day and yet wake up being tired. This happens when your mind is not at peace and you aren’t quite relaxed.
The cure for this isn’t sleeping. You need to take a break and practice mindfulness for yourself. Practice some joyful meditation or brain dump journaling to calm your mind and bring peace to your land. It’s all okay to practice self-care while being a mum.
4. Nothing excites you
The jobs that you used to love doing like preparing meals for your kids or taking them to the nearby park for evening fun, may not seem as exciting as it used to earlier. Some Days you don’t feel getting out of your bed too.
We are all super excited when we enter the motherhood phase but when we start doing it too much beyond our capacities we no more feel that same joy.
Give yourself some time to do the things that you truly enjoy. They don’t always have to be for your kids or family.
5. You’re so very tired, always.
When you’re doing too much, pushing your boundaries you may sense this feeling of being tired all the time. Sometimes, even without accomplishing lots of your daily work, you may feel burn-out and you would be so clueless about the reason.
Even a simple, easy task seems like a huge rock to pull through and this leaves you with so much frustration and self-doubt. We all feel tired many times but when you feel this kind of sluggishness and lack of energy, you need to take it seriously.
Resting your body isn’t the wholesome cure for this. You need to rest your brain or literally shut it down from racing all the time.
Mum-burnout may be common and faced by most of the mamas out there but this needs to be addressed seriously. We mums need to practice self-care in order to be mentally and physically available for our loved ones.